What would be different if you actively embraced your identity?
I've been thinking about identity...
Who are you, really?
And, who gets a say in that?
Over the last few weeks, I keep returning to this concept of identity -- what makes it up, how it changes, and who gets a voice in determining it. I wish I could say it was simply because I was working on refreshed branding in celebration of my 7th business anniversary and thinking about these things (more on that in a bit!), but it was not because of that.
It was because my doctor identified me as a "brain injury patient".
I had never thought of myself that way.
Now, as my kids say, "that's facts", but still, it threw me for a loop. I had thought of myself as driven, funny, a mom, an entrepreneur, a book lover, and many other things, but never a "brain injury patient". Something inside of me revolted at that idea. I could not stop thinking about it. Was that really who I was? What did that mean about my life? Does that change anything?
So, I had a choice to make (and so do you).
How much of someone else's definition of me do I embrace, facts or no facts?
Many of the women I work with have recently completed their company's annual performance review cycle. A few have received feedback they weren't expecting. Feedback that felt off-base or unwarranted...like someone was looking for something to criticize. So, how much of that feedback do claim as a part of your identity and embrace versus making it one more thing you need to work on?
For example, one of my clients received feedback that she was "too aggressive" in meetings and it was off-putting to the people in the meeting. (And yes, we are still having this discussion in 2024...insert eye roll here.) And then, she was recognized and rewarded at the company meeting for being a leader who pushed a project across the finish line for a client. Same behavior, different feedback. Her drive is part of her identity. She gets to choose whether or not she embraces it as a competitive advantage or something she needs to fix.
I needed to reconnect with my identity, give it a little refresh.
Here's what I did:
I pulled out a piece of neon colored paper (so I could get to it easily and wouldn't lose it!)
I set my timer for 10 minutes
I wrote, "I am..." until that timer ran out.
Then, every day that week, I set the timer 5 minutes and added to that list.
Of course, the first 10-20 were easy, "wife, mom, friend, entrepreneur" and so on...but then it got REAL. As I had to dig, I had to tune in to what was was true, what I wanted to embrace -- and what I didn't.
I was surprised by how much had changed, what new things were now a part of my identity, and also about how much was still true, had always been true.
Now, "that's facts"!